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KILLERMAJESTIC

by PLASMA CANVAS

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1.
No longer just a witness Much more than a statistic Reign in the new aesthetic Blood-stain your perfect canvas Fuck you Mother said I was the son of the morning Father said I was a son of a bitch I don't think that I'm your son at all, man Just an ever-present itch In the mind of a reputation Omnipresent revolution I am the goddess of my own fate And I'm here to give it all away Are you listening? Because I've started speaking. Gonna rip off the heads of the martyrs Gonna flash all the non-believers Gonna tear apart your power structures Gonna spill my guts on strangers Gonna wave my big, black flag Tear out my heart and put it in a bag Throw it in the river, watch it get dragged To the bottom of the universe and never come back Loud movement, crying eyes My nightmare come to life I'm squirming, affirming Rebirthing, usurping Claws digging, mouth grinning Skin stretching... Free us from the confines of our flesh Are you listening? Because I've started speaking. Are you living? Or just fucking breathing? Choose wisely while you rot.
2.
Rot 02:48
There is a blackness without end There's a cloud between my eyes Between a rich man's pocket and a poor girl's dream, I float Lying face down in a river of spacetime Rearranging what I'm locked in But here I stay, because it ain't coming I am the problem, I'm all that exists I'm the weight that crushes all my loved ones that they cannot lift I got a solution, it's buried in my wrist Come claw it out and save yourself, 'cause There ain't no way I'm surviving this Wish there was more, but I know there's not A better life's a passing thought Long ago, I lost the plot of what makes a home I want a family, wife and a baby But I know that good life ain't coming to me Don't want to die, but don't want to hurt I'm in hell, but hurting you is worse I can't breathe to speak because The stitches rip my lips And I can't stand what I am So I'm sticking to my plan Or maybe I'm just saying that so you might listen I've got a spot to rot in I've got a spot to rot in I've got a spot to rot in But not today I am the problem, I'm all that exists I'm the crushing weight that will destroy you if you let me in I got a solution, it's bursting through my chest Hold me while we explode 'Cause there ain't no way I'm surviving this.
3.
Saturn 03:47
I hope you call me again at 2am so I can write another stupid song about it I don't know what I'm doing, but I wish it was you Because I'm in such a fucked up state and I don't want to be the things you hate So I'm playing chess with my dreams and hoping they come true Well, I got a new place to crash And I think I'm bouncing back And I think I might just have me figured out So if you wanna try something new Then I can finally make my move And melt into the "yes" that leaves your mouth I'm starting all over in the middle of winter And I'm gonna do it for the right reasons And even though it's snowing, I can feel myself growing So you can tell that fuckin' reaper he ain't won. Well, I've got some room to breathe Even if it's cold and bleak There's a price I've paid for this autonomy Can you see how bright it shines, This little light of mine? It's dark here but my spark is guiding me I'm not afraid of all my indiscretions 'Cause I'm living in a state of progress, not perfection Not hanging from my tether Just pulling myself together I hope you call me again at 3am so I can hear you call me on my shit I don't know what I'm doing, but I wish it was you Not doing this for no one else But I won't lie and say you didn't Help me dig through my heart and pull out the truth Well, I got a new place to crash down in the aftermath I've made my bed, but at least I can sleep I can tell you all my plans And if they fall right through my hands, You'll still be the one promise I can keep.
4.
Firecracker 02:20
He says you're such a firecracker That's just 'cause he can't take the flame Now here comes another boy to dance in your fire It's like I'm watching through a two-way mirror pane You don't have to know what you want to know that you're wanted By every two-bit boy with a halfway-decent smile It's how the fairy tales go: The boy gets the girl, Then it's happily-ever-after, for awhile But I can see it - something ain't sitting right And I can feel it when you look in my eyes Is there something in my drink, or am I flying? He says you're such a firecracker That's just 'cause he can't take the flame Now here comes another boy to dance in your fire It's like I'm watching through a two-way mirror pane I'll take another drag while he tries all his favorite lines Gonna ride this out, 'cause all I got is time And later when you spill your guts, I'll remember tomorrow But I'll fall asleep still wishing you were mine Is there something in these stolen glances, Waiting for a break from all this madness? You ain't gotta know where you're going, but I'll follow (If you want me to.) We said it, and I'm proud of us I don't regret it, and my hopes ain't up I just can't shut up when my heart's beating this loud It's in the open, it's a big "now what?" But don't sweat it, 'cause I don't know what I want But I'd love you in all the ways a girl can love (But not a boy.)
5.
Flux 03:47
I think I'm gonna hit the road and get the hell away from everyone Pack up my clothes and my guitar, start driving west until I see the ocean I'm swimming in the parables and drowning my potential in the expectations It's strange, even to me I've been holding my breath But in the water, I can breathe. There's a kind of wonder in leaving altogether And chasing something new There's hope in being hopeless A freedom when you're reckless I can't find in an office view I feel a desperation that I can't put in proportion A pleading no one hears I can't find what I need inside the walls of factories So if I'm dying anyway, I might as well be dying to escape So give it all you got and swing your life where you feel it needs to go And they will be cheering you on, wherever you decide you need to roam The smile that you wear should be for you, and only you alone And home will always be there, if ever you may tire from the road The times, they are a-changing The story's rearranging All we know for certain is to move I've seen my share of places Worn two different faces But I feel like I know myself with you.

about

The first thing you hear on the brand new EP from Fort Collins punk duo Plasma Canvas is the wild, visceral scream that kicks off opening song “Killer Majestic”. It’s a burst of pure, primal emotion that sounds like vocalist/guitarist Adrienne Rae Ash’s actual throat is escaping from her body into the big, bad world outside. A blistering re-recording of a song from the band’s 2016 debut album, it’s a bold mission statement that reasserts who the Plasma Canvas is now, and what the band is all about. Even more forceful and raw than the original recording – which captured all the angst, frustration and confused emotions that were swirling around inside Ash’s mind and heart until she came out as trans in 2015 – it firmly reasserts the powerful identity of Plasma Canvas.

“That scream came from the fact that it was the first album I had gotten to do completely on my own,” says Ash. “It was the first time I’d ever put together a full record of any kind with any band. I’d been out
as a trans woman for a couple of years at that point, so I felt like I’d been standing on a springboard for the first 25 years of my life, and when we recorded that song it was all of it coming out at the same time. When we re-tracked it, I knew that it had to be that intense. I wanted it to feel like what accepting your transness feels like, which is terrifying. It’s like you’ve had someone holding your head under water for your entire life, and then you finally get up the strength to release yourself and take a deep breath and scream really loud.”

While Ash, with drummer Jude McCarron by her side, has now found that strength, and worked out how to channel her life experiences into brash, cathartic and emotional melodic punk songs, it wasn’t always so easy. She moved from her small hometown in rural Missouri to Fort Collins, Colorado from in late 2015 to escape anti-trans violence, but even there it took her a while to find somebody willing to play her songs with her. Eventually, she found a drummer called Dave Sites and the seeds of Plasma Canvas were first planted. The pair released their eponymous debut album in 2016, but Sites left the band in June 2017. It was after that that McCarron stepped in, and the current incarnation of Plasma Canvas was cemented.

“Dave and I had been playing a bunch of shows at this punk bar called Surfside 7 in Fort Collins,” remembers Ash, “and Jude was always upfront, smiling and rocking out, and I remember thinking it was a shame he probably doesn’t play any instruments because he’d be really fun to be in a band with. When Dave quit the band and I was in despair and just so fucked up and sad about that, our friend Zack Hill from Copper Teeth recommended Jude. When I found out he played drums, he was in without even a tryout because he was just the coolest person.”

“I distinctly remember Adrienne shredding a guitar solo in my face when I went to see them,” laughs McCarron, “which led me to the decision of asking to joining.”
“When we first jammed it was a bit rusty,” admits Ash, “but I could tell there was something there.”

That’s an understatement. The chemistry between the two was already evident on 2018’s No Faces EP, the first record the pair made together, but has been thoroughly solidified with this EP. Recorded at The Blasting Room with the legendary Bill Stevenson (“As a drummer,” says McCarron, “it was very intimidating, but he was patient and understanding and willing to help, and very much about making it stay fun.”), the five songs completely lay bar every facet of who Plasma Canvas is, both as a band and as people. Matching the in-your-face aggression of that opening track is the angry self-loathing of “Rot”, on which Ash explores her bi-polar disorder to a surging, raucous melody that builds towards a crushing
crescendo.

“That’s about the hardest times in life,” she says, “when you’re battling your own brain. Because of my bi-polar disorder, I deal with a lot of suicidal ideation, and that song is about feeling low, but also looking
at this clod of dirt where you’re one day you’re going to be at rest again, and remembering that it doesn’t have to be today that you end up in that dirt. So I hope it’s also a hopeful song, if also very angry and afraid.”

Elsewhere, “Saturn” is a chugging anthem full of optimism, closing track “Firecracker” is a frenzied and mischievous pop-punk track about “having a crush on straight girl when you’re a lesbian”, while Flux” reflects on the malaise of being stuck in a job that fails to satisfy your soul in any way, the frustration of which comes across in just as visceral a way as that scream at the start of “Killer Majestic.”

“Jude and I both do very intensive labor jobs,” explains Ash. “I work in a factory and I’m sore at the end of the day, and Jude works in an industrial greenhouse. So we’re doing this backbreaking work and then going to The Blasting Room and pouring our souls out into this record. You can trust me when I say that every word about being disappointed and feeling stuck in my factory job and thinking about how much I want to leave is totally authentic, because I sang those lyrics after a long-ass day in the factory.”

“It’s very therapeutic,” adds McCarron. “I’m very much an introverted person. I keep a lot of things from my friends and family, so playing music is a huge release for me, and that’s how it always has been, ever since I started playing 12 years ago. It’s kind of unnecessary how hard I hit my drums, but the energy I have onstage – and even when I practice at home – is releasing all that stuff that’s been building or is pent up that I have to find a way to deal with. It’s extremely fitting that Adrienne and I are in a band together, because we have something important to say and I feel very empowered by that.”

That sense of empowerment and catharsis is a constant throughout this EP’s five tracks, and something which infuses it with a real depth of meaning. Yet as much as it’s an insight into what Ash’s day-to-day
existence is like, it also serves as a portrait of being a marginalized person in the USA in 2020. As such, even though these songs aren’t explicitly political, they are also inherently political, because, as Ash
points out on the band’s Facebook page, for her, even just existing is an act of rebellion. “People have asked me why I always write political music,” she says, “and the answer is that I don’t. Every single song on this new EP is completely apolitical, but the fact that I’m a trans person and my existence is up for debate even in left-wing circles. We have a lot of love songs and songs about depression and songs about wanderlust and wanting to do better for yourself before you’re dead, but it all comes through as political just because of the fact that I live and I speak and I am. A lot of it is also the commentary I say at live shows because I get so pissed off at the state of the world and how trans people are treated and how people of marginalized identities all over are treated. We live in Fort Collins, where 100 miles away there is an ICE concentration camp, and the fact I get to sing on a stage while people are sitting in cages just makes me feel so gross. I feel if I don’t use that platform to do something
positive that might help somebody, then I’m wasting it. I don’t want to be another punk band with mohawks and leather jackets with studs on drinking PBR and doing coke in the bathroom. We want to be a little bit more than that.”

credits

released June 12, 2020

Written and Performed by Plasma Canvas

Adrienne Rae Ash-Guitar/Vocals
Jude McCarron-Drums

Recorded at the Blasting Room by Bill Stevenson

SideOneDummy Records

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PLASMA CANVAS Fort Collins, Colorado

Preorder "DUSK", out 2/17/23 on SideOneDummy Records

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