1. |
Hymn
02:35
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I just heard the news today that life’s the first part of the grave
It’s a cold day in Texas and the skies are all cloudy all day
There are memories that we never made
There are debts that I never repaid
But all I can do is to try to remember the last time that I saw your face
I feel like I’m inside a dream, alone with your memory
It’s a dark day without you, but I know that you’re finally free
No one will ever hurt you again
No one will ever hold you again
We had so many stories… now they’re gonna die with me
As the snow falls in Midland, all your sins are forgiven
Goodbye, my sweetest friend
I’ll see you in the end
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2. |
Blistered World
03:05
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It’s a blistered world, but I won’t let it kill me
I’m as tough as nails and delicate as Barbies
I swear to anybody listening, this ain’t the end
The fates are calling, but I ain’t coming in
I’ll give you something you can hold onto
And I’ll be right here, present, handing it to you
I’ve started over once again
I’ve got some promises that I’ve gotta mend
It doesn’t fucking matter if it’s the hundredth time
This isn’t linear, and there’s no finish line
I’ll give you something you can hold onto
And I’ll be right here, present, handing it to you
I better change into someone worthwhile to save
Or I might dance myself right into my grave
I might drag us both down into my grave
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3. |
Dilemma Dancer
03:00
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I gotta be stoned all of the time
I gotta be drunk all of the time
I got nothing left to hide
Gotta be fucked up all of the time
Spend my days faded as fuck
I don’t think I’m cool, I just think I suck
I know my friends look up to me, but I ain’t the role model that I should be
I just kill myself when I get bored, disappoint all the people that I adore
And every time I give myself a break, I just find something else in me to hate, so I
I gotta be stoned all of the time
I gotta be drunk all of the time
I got nothing left to hide
Gotta be fucked up all of the time
How cliché to write about clichés while I stumble through life in a sleepy haze
Couldn’t bring myself to try the harder stuff
‘Cause my good enough is good enough
‘Cause all I’ve ever aspired to is somewhere to go and someone to do
I owe it to you to be yours forever
I’ll do anything to get there, except get better, 'cause
I gotta be stoned all of the time
I gotta be drunk all of the time
I got nothing left to hide
Gotta stay fucked up!
My head is heavy with suicide
My heart is soaring with love
May the worst of us win
We end where we begin: trembling and alone.
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4. |
Election Year Relapse
04:42
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Opaque and plain, nothing ever changes
Same stays the same, poverty wages
No room for you and I
No time to see what somewhere else is like
HEARD IT ALL BEFORE
Repeating agony
I’ve seen it all and nothing ever falls into its place
WHAT’S ALL THIS FOR?
Syphoning empathy
You’ll see me smile when I finally start to feel something
Coming in waves, fighting the stages
You keep the faith, I’ll light the way back home
And no one is coming to save us,
So I guess we’ll have to fight ourselves, ourselves
HEARD IT ALL BEFORE
I’ve lost the faith
I’ve got iron will
And I’m full of shit
Tutti fruity, fancy free and so goddamn negative
HEARD IT ALL BEFORE
Repeating agony
I’ve seen it all and nothing ever falls into its place
WHAT’S ALL THIS FOR?
Syphoning empathy
You’ll see me smile when I finally start to feel something
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5. |
Cross My Heart
04:21
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For sale: tiny Converse, never worn
Dirty feeling, sterile doctors, endless scorn
The crowd triangulates while we dissociate
Part of my light goes out with you
Because you are a part of me
My dream and nightmare’s coming true
I’m not what you need now,
So I’ll see you, somehow, in another life
They carry you, we bury you
Hold you like a grudge
The hardest part:
I know inside my heart it’s not even your fault
What would our parents say?
Should they have done the same?
Part of my light goes out with you
Because you are a part of me
My dream and nightmare’s coming true
I’m not what you need now,
So I’ll see you, somehow, in another life
If you’ve never lived it, then you can save your judgment
If you've never fucking lived it, then you can save your fucking judgment
Save your fucking judgment
Part of my heart dies with you
Because you are a part of me
My dream and nightmare’s coming true
I’m not what you need now
So I’ll see you, somehow, on the other side
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6. |
Jewelry Box
05:00
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“What’s your name?” Is such a loaded question when the name you read just ain’t a part of you
All the parts of me are in a constant motion
I keep shaking it off so I don’t have to look at the truth
The evil parts of us are who we are when the blinding lights fade
Everybody that you meet has something dark to hide
A scab on a wound that won’t ever stop bleeding
I’m a virus unto this earth and I will bleed it dry
You say you’re damaged goods, and I’m defective too
I’m an empty jewelry box and I’m spoiled fruit
If you let me in, I know I’ll fucking crush you
I’m not the kind of void you wanna fall into
I’m lost inside my own manipulation
All at once I am the veil and the air behind
Don’t pull me out of my sweet intoxication
The weakest parts of me beg to abide
This half-life is such a strange beauty
It’s not the same out there as It is inside
Inner voice echoes into the hollow
But on the outside, nothing dares to dull my shine
You say you’re damaged goods, and I’m defective too
I’m an empty jewelry box and I’m spoiled fruit
If I let you in, I know I’ll fucking crush you
I’m not the kind of void you wanna fall into
I wanna claw my heart out of my body
I wanna kill this part of me that I despise
I wanna lay my soul bare, dead and defeated
I wanna scream these words ’til the light drains from my eyes:
I’m not afraid to die
I’m afraid to survive
I’m damaged goods
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7. |
Eye
05:04
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I remember the stain
The dirty tint to everything in our house
I remember the cold
Felt like I might never be dry again
And I think I can still feel the stench
On my clothes, in my eyes, everything that was mine
And I think I’m becoming tired
Like I was, leaving home in the middle of the night
I’m in a new place
I want my things, I want my space
I don’t like it
More scared than I’ve ever been, dirty water on my skin
I wanna go home
Where is my home?
All I do is dig for a way that this fits into it’s plan
All I feel is cheated
One day I’ll kill the God that took my home
One day I’ll look into its eye
I will take everything that it needs to survive
It’s worth becoming evil
If this is benevolence, then I’ll have none of it
I’m in a new place
I want my things, I want my space
I don’t like it
More scared than I’ve ever been, dirty water on my skin
I wanna go home
Where is my home?
There is water in my dreams, infecting everything with its trauma
Should have been someone else
Will I really go to hell?
Will I, mama?
Can’t kill it with my doubt, caught inside its snarling mouth
Untold horror
Bones cracking in its teeth
I have seen the face of God and made it weep
Home is togetherness
Everything we lost…
All that we still have
We can still heal
We can still heal
We can move past it
I can heal
I can heal
I can heal
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8. |
Soft
06:30
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Breathe slow
Don’t let it take you over
Soft, sweet, safe love
Soft, sweet, safe love
Feel it
Don’t keep it inside always
Soft, sweet, safe love
Soft, sweet, safe love
I’ll hold you here
Protect you here
Understood
Loved
Shelter you here
Protect you here
Understood
Loved
Naked and beautiful
The mask is heavy
Soft, sweet, safe love
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9. |
Need
06:18
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Coming out of stormy weather
But we know better
You see her and you want to hold her
You’ve waited forever
And we’ve all learned to use restraint
To save what we can save
And you’ll do anything to kiss her
Give me what I need
Show me what I need
I’ll never take for granted the touch of my lover again
Just please give me what I need
You held out for something better
Turned into never
Don’t go now - you’ll catch her fever and you’ll have to leave her
And we’ve all learned to take our space
Forgotten all our names
Our friends just memories
It’s all different and I need someone to die with
Give me what I need
Show me what I need
I’ll never take for granted the touch of my lover again
Just please give me what I need
And we’ve all learned to look away
Absolved ourselves from blame
And you’ll do anything to hold her, to love her
Give me what I need
Show me what I need
I’ll never take you for granted
Just please give me what I need
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10. |
Hope You Haunt Me
07:13
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I catch myself letting go all the time
Did it ever really happen?
Were those moments I cried over all just dreams?
An October evening, the leaves wet on the cold ground
Not as inviting as the summer that came before
When all the leaves go dead, what do you do?
When you’re another year older,
From a burn to a smolder
What else can you do?
When the time came long ago to let go of you…
What else can I do?
I’m a drop of water on her gentle leaves
Rolling off her comforts into the darkest space in me
I hope you haunt me
Will you stay and taunt me?
I catch myself giving into them bitter worlds inside
I still long for what could have stayed and fucked up my whole life
An early departure
Hard to believe it’s any better
When the years come rolling in, what do you do?
When the wounds ain’t healed, just covered in dust,
Will hope be enough to carry you?
When the sun lights up the balance of what we put each other through…
What else can I do?
I’m a drop of water on her gentle leaves
Rolling off her comforts into the darkest space in me
I hope you haunt me
Will you stay and taunt me?
Don’t say the words that feel good in the moment
Don’t spill your soul to every pretty face you meet
You can’t fix yourself with another empty promise
You can’t make these same mistakes year after week
You’ll sow, then you’ll reap
You’ll sow, then you’ll reap
I’m a drop of water on her gentle leaves
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11. |
DUSK
08:28
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I’ve been waiting…
I’ve been waiting here for you
Waiting here all my life, for the moment to arrive
Caught inside the in-betwen, like a lover inside a dream
Hold me here where no one can see
Close your eyes
Softly drift inside
You and I are all alone tonight
Light from your eyes fades into the night
Still and patiently, I wait for your remedy
Counting my breaths into sleep
Soon the morning sun will rise,
But seconds are hours tonight
You’re mine until I rise, but I’m yours ’til I…
Close your eyes
Softly drift inside
You and I are all alone tonight
I’m imploding while you’re holding me
I’m waiting…
I’m ready…
I’m waiting…
I’m ready…
Close your eyes
Softly drift inside
You and I are all alone tonight
Light from your eyes fades into the night
I’ve been waiting here, my love…
Waiting inside a lie…
The coldest, darkest night.
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12. |
Empyrean
03:39
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PLASMA CANVAS Fort Collins, Colorado
Preorder "DUSK", out 2/17/23 on SideOneDummy Records
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